i make a terrible tour guide.

[this is, in part, from a conversation i had with another autistic adult-blogger person about the absurd process of translating to NT]

how i naturally am inclined to explain things:

DATA DATA DATA DATA DATA picture-picture-picture DATA DATA musical-interlude DATA DATA DATA long-list-of-descriptive-sensory-adjectives DATA DATA elaborate-map DATA DATA DATA DATA DATA totally-relevant-tangent-topic DATA pop-culture-references DATA DATA DATA DATA DATA pictures DATA DATA weird-onomatopoeia-textural-sounds DATA second-musical-interlude DATA DATA DATA DATA DATA DATA some-fucking-cats DATA DATA DATA end.

how NT people want me to explain things:

hello. how are you today. i know some things. can i show you some things. first, thing. second, more thing. that was a lot of thing. let’s take a break. do you understand basic logic? no? okay, i’ll just show you one or two more small things. let’s walk over to the things. walk this way to the things. here is a small, new thing. it is small. [insert DATA here]. wow, that was an intense thing. how do you feel? you look hungry; can i offer you some abstract nouns? NOUN NOUN NOUN ABSTRACT NONSENSE NOUNS. let me carry you over here. look, an idea! it is an abstract noun. you can eat it. isn’t it delicious. how is your family. ABSTRACT NOUN ABSTRACT NOUN. ps you are important.

that is all

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Above are photos of a few diagrams/illustrations that I’ve drawn in my research notebooks. They are very hard to describe. Long story short: Baron-Cohen can (bleep) my “systemizing” (bleep). Also, I make a bad tour guide.

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2 thoughts on “i make a terrible tour guide.

  1. I can’t read (or re-read, or re-re-read) “some-fucking-cats” without seeing a picture/video of two cats copulating inside my head. Which makes it so much funnier. 😀

    (No, seriously. It’s funny. Literal thinking is great because the contrast is its own source of amusement. A lot of people don’t seem to understand this).

    • I do exactly that same thing, and I also find it extremely funny. I have a lot of fun reading science articles where scientists have named some mutation or protein something really ridiculous. There was an article I read where they’d made a Drosophila melanogaster (fruit fly) model that resembled ADHD, and they named that fly-mutation “radish.” So the entire time they just referred to those flies as “radish” and it was so cute because I kept imagining tiny radishes having ADHD. On a related note, I can’t even explain how creeped out I continue to be with the fact that some scientist somewhere thought fit to name this one commonly studied fly mutation “shavenbaby.” I can’t even read articles about it anymore, it’s too disturbing.

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