(these are both not serious, and totally serious)
- what is it like to have categories in your head. what do they feel like.
- WHAT DOES TIME FEEL LIKE.
- when you’re supposed to fill out a form in pen and also in all caps how do you remember to keep writing in all caps the whole time?
- how do you determine whether or not something qualifies as “organized”? how do you know how to best organize something when there are like a jillion ways to organize a thing?
- how can you wear watches? does it not feel like death to you?
- when you’re going to make a list to go to the store, how do you know that you’ve remembered everything to put on the list of all the things you actually need? also, when you go to the store, how do you not feel like it’s legit to get every single thing that you notice as being awesome or cool or something you feel like eating right then?
- no but really what does time feel like.
- when you’re looking through a collection of items arrayed on, say, a computer desktop, and the names of the things don’t identify those things, how do you remember which things you already looked at, and which things you haven’t looked at yet? (i sometimes make piles of them in different corners of the desktop as i go through them. or i have to keep all of them open or something as i open them. i feel like there are more efficient ways…)
- how can you hold lots of words in your head at one time so that when you talk you can say multiple ideas in an organized sequential manner?
- what kinds of socks do you prefer.
- can you please stop like constantly complaining about how you have a “terrible attention span” or a “horrible short term memory”? complaining sometimes is fine…but seriously you complain all the time. all the atypical peeps, plus folks with other brain disabilities, plus all the olderly adults you know would like to inform you: don’t walk around wearing the uniform if you ain’t gonna play for the fucking team.
- how do you function in social contexts if you don’t constantly accidentally eavesdrop on every conversation (or five) that comes within five meters of your person?
- what is your favorite color.
- i hope you have a nice day.
- question mark?
Toddler-infant me is on the front porch, lounging back against the door. I am wearing the most impressive baby rain-poncho-and-rain-pants outfit you’ve ever seen. It is bright yellow. I am making a disgruntled face. The overall effect is reminiscent of some drunk Maine lobster fisherman sitting and sobering up after too many drinks at some local dive bar. If the fisherman were a two-year-old.