Twitter Continues: My Variations On A Theme

So like basically, at one point this weekend I got tired of being serious and just wanted to be silly–this technically happened multiple times, but this is the first I’m going to narrate for y’alls. Basically, once upon a time Dani made this really hilarious joke where she riffed on “Autism Speaks: It’s time to listen” in a conversation we were having. And I wanted to share and…develop on her improvisations. So I did. Just…see below. Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.10.56 PMCaption: Tweet reads “So this one time @danialexis and I were cracking jokes about using ‘It’s to cure my autism’ as an excuse for doing whatever we wanted…”

Caption: Tweet reads “…And she made a joke about drinking a whole bottle of red wine to cure her autism. I replied that she’d just made a v. layered joke…”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.15 PMCaption: Tweet reads “…And @danialexis replied by saying ‘Autism Drinks: It’s time to raise your glass.’ And I still haven’t gotten over it. SO I HAVE AN IDEA:”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.45 PM copyCaption: Tweet reads “Variations, I’m thinking? ‘Autism Laughs: Because Normal People Do Ridiculous Shit.'”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.45 PM copy 2Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Drools: And So Do You, Fucking Deal With It.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.45 PM copy 3Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Trainspots: And, Admit It, You’re Kinda Jealous.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.45 PM copy 4Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Jokes: And I’m Funnier Than You.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.53 PM copyCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Rocks. Get it? Get it? I’m hilarious.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.12.53 PM copy 2Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Does Not ‘Mindread’: Because You Are Not Yoda, Baron-Cohen, And Earth Is Not Fucking Dagobah.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.02 PMCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Screams: Mostly About @AutismSpeaks”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.02 PM copyCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Feelz: I Can Haz Them?”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.02 PM copy 2Caption: Tweet reads “(God I have to apologize for that last one. That was uncalled for. Jesus Christ, Emma, this isn’t fucking 2007.)”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.02 PM copy 3Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Trains: TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS TRAINS”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.08 PM copyCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Bangs: You Can Interpret This A Lot Of Ways, And All Of Them Are True.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.08 PM copy 2Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Questions: Hi. What Is Your Birthday.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.08 PM copy 3Caption: Tweet reads “Autism Bears: Would That Not Be Like Super Cute Though.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.13 PMCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Bites: Good Lord, Calm Down, It’s Not Like You Got Bit By A Shark, Seriously. (Today, I bit my door. It was very satisfying.)”

Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 6.13.13 PM copyCaption: Tweet reads “Autism Lists: 1. BIRTHDAYS 2. words 3. primesss 4. cat breeds 5. BIRDZ 6. normal people who suck 7. noms i will eat 8 favorite buses!”

I literally had a window open with a list of common English verbs in it and I could have gone on for ages…Anyways. I’ll go back to putting together collections of serious tweets after this.

[A final note: If at any point people wonder why I haven’t decided to make collections of all the other amazing and important things autistic people other than me were tweeting this weekend–and still are!–I just want to explain so I don’t look entirely self-centered. I have virtually no ability to filter, prioritize, or sort information at all efficiently. I have trouble deciding what to include and not include in things basically every second of my life, and what to get or not get at the store, or what to print and not print to read, or what books to check out/buy or not check out/buy. So when I look at something like the entire feed of autistic people’s #AutismSpeaks10 tweets, and think about going through and picking and choosing tweets over other ones, my brain basically screams and runs away to hide in a corner. I tried it. Really. I tried to Storify. It took about 5 minutes before I like completely shut down. So for now, I’m sticking with collecting my own tweets, in the hope that it helps spread the word about our criticism and experiences, and motivates people to learn more and investigate the tag themselves. Thanks for understanding!]

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once upon a time on twitter

this happened…

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 5.35.18 PM

caption: A photo of an Autism Speaks tweet that says “5 days left till Autism Speaks turns 10-years-old! Tell us how we’ve touched your life using #AutismSpeaks10”

and i (like the rest of the autistic community on twitter) couldn’t really help myself, you know?

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.11.44 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Autism Speaks has touched my life in a lot of ways, and virtually none of them have been consensual…”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.12.02 PM

caption: Tweet from @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 I love how A$ tells people that my parents would be better off if I were dead. How heartwarming. #ActuallyAutistic.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.12.24 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Because ten years of shady funding allocation and conscious misrepresentation is something that deserves to be celebrated!”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.12.44 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10, famous for their unofficial slogan: ‘Shut up, you can talk!’ #ActuallyAutistic.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.13.08 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10: Where your needs and opinions can get discounted because ‘That’s just your autism speaking.’ #ActuallyAutistic”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.13.27 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Always making sure that research funding goes to help the only adults who really matter: Parents. #ActuallyAutistic”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.13.43 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Thanks for making sure that when I tell people I’m autistic, their first thought is ‘Oh, one more lost to the epidemic.’…”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.13.54 PM

caption: Tweet from @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10…It makes me feel great because I love interacting with people who consider me hopeless and ‘infected.’ #ActuallyAutistic”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.14.07 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Anti-gay ‘therapy’ is finally being debunked, but ‘autism therapy’ based on the same studies is all insurance covers.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.14.21 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Thanks for making it easy to find therapists who talk to normal people about autistic people and hard to find one for me.”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.14.32 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10 Thanks for changing the lives of so many normal people who now have steady jobs ‘helping’ autistics act less autistic…”

Screen Shot 2015-02-20 at 4.14.43 PM

caption: Tweet by @EmmaPretzel reads “#AutismSpeaks10…Which is super cool, since I’m #ActuallyAutistic and absent the work of ASAN, it’d be legal to pay me a sub-minimum wage.”

I KIND OF GOT ON A ROLL, OKAY.

EDIT: AND THEN I GOT ON ANOTHER ROLL?

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